With that being said, I wanted to share a quick story. Last year I was in the choir at Hopewell Baptist Church and we did a fantastic Christmas program. I got to sing with some incredible women... Laura Adams, Lakeisha, and Lisa Copeland (my friend Camille's momma) It was truely a blessing to be there and I miss it terribly. We have not been to church in a year. Writing that, I can't believe it. It doesn't seem that long... but it has. Only my very close friends knew why... church was the only place that I was feeling VERY emotional about losing Tripp. Being in familiar situations like work and family gatherings did not effect me, but seeing people I didn't know interacting with their children was really hard for me. I see now that was Satan attacking me in the very place I needed to be. We are going back, definitely. I can't wait actually- some of my very best friends go there. I could write pages and pages about this... but I don't want to forget the point of my story!
So, today I was going through a pile of CD's and found the Christmas CD from last year and I remembered one song that was SO powerful and emotional for me. I listened to it tonight and it is still as striking as it was then. I would listen to it over and over in the car to practice and try to get used to singing it without bawling. I really wanted to be able to sing this message to my church family. It never worked.... I had to mouth the words with tears streaming down my face. It was oddly comforting, considering I don't typically cry in public.
Go to minute 2:50 to hear the song performed by our choir.
When the night is falling,
And the day is done,
I can hear You calling, “Come.”
I will come while You sing over me.
And the day is done,
I can hear You calling, “Come.”
I will come while You sing over me.
When the night surrounds me,
All my dreams undone,
I can hear You calling, “Come.”
I will come while You sing over me.
When the night would hide my way,
I will listen until I hear You say…
All my dreams undone,
I can hear You calling, “Come.”
I will come while You sing over me.
When the night would hide my way,
I will listen until I hear You say…
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you.
When this life is over,
And the race is run,
I will hear You calling, “Come.”
I will come while You sing over me,
And the race is run,
I will hear You calling, “Come.”
I will come while You sing over me,
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you, child, I love you.
How I love you.
OH, wow, rach. I didnt think you were going "regularly" anymore but i didnt know why. I can totally see that, though. I mean, i totally agree that it was satan. But i also see that being in that situation (being around people while dealing with things with the Lord) would be sooo incredibly hard. I remember wanting to avoid my church family after my 1st miscarriage. I would say 2 things: 1. I know that a better option would have been to have pressed in to the Lord and into my church family and let them help me in whatever way they could, HOWEVER... 2. I also know that thats not how i deal with things. And the important thing is that I didnt "live" there (meaning away from my church fam) and got back into our fellowship. And thats what matters, i think. Youknow, there are days when i feel like "every day, every moment MUST be for the Lord!" :-) And then there are other days that i'm reminded that i'm not called to perfection and that God's grace is sufficient for my disobedience and my SLOW path back to him at times.
ReplyDeletePraying the Lord draws you and Greg back into the fellowship of your church family. And that you'll find comfort there and joy!
Love you friend.
I'm so glad you're coming back, Rach. I've missed you so much. But I knew you needed some time...
ReplyDeleteThat sweet song gets me every time. I'm so thankful we serve a merciful, gracious, forgiving Lord who LOVES us like He does.
I can't wait to see your gorgeous face back up in that choir.
I love you!
praying for you, friend!
ReplyDeletesomeone sent me that book "The One Year Book of Hope" that I had sent you... I remember reading on the Mac's blog that it was good... I hope it was good for you. I'm sure I won't start it right away. But i was happy to get it and it made me think of you.
you are always an inspiration to me. watching you and greg (from afar) and seeing how you handle things is hopeful for me. i know we have difficult and different situations, but the same in that no one should have to go through it.
it's funny b/c i find it easier to write (even though it's not really easy and i'm not really giving all my feelings out there) but it's easier to me than to talk about. i am really bad about talking out loud about things (communication is not my strong suit at all) Writing on the blog almost gives me an accountably to not hide behind my sorrow, sink into myself and close up. but that's really what i want to do a lot of times!!
anyways... this is a rambling comment. but i am always thinking of you and your little family. even if i don't tell you often enough :) i am glad you are starting to "attend" church again and hope that you find it comforting and not hard on you!
That is such a precious song. I've missed y'all at church but I knew it would just take some time. Sometimes the place where God wants us is the hardest place to be.
ReplyDeleteI love you I am praying for you an Greg. Hopefully I'll
Be seeing you soon at Hopewell!
P.S. Macy looked precious at school today!! She is such a doll!!
I cannot wait for you to come back to choir!! I've missed you SO much! Plus, Lakesha's getting a little rowdy and I need back-up :)
ReplyDeletePS: This year's Christmas program is Sunday night December 18th at 6:30. Hope y'all can make it?!?!?
Love you!
Laura